Thursday, January 7, 2010

Goat Herding in Phoenix

One Saturday morning in August I woke up uncharacteristically early at 7 am, mainly due to being up all night with indigestion from a late dinner at Vincent's for Phoenix restaurant week. But since I was up, I figured I would enjoy the cool 80 degree temperature of the early morning so I woke up Majerle and headed outside for a walk. The first thing I noticed which is sadly not at all out of the ordinary on my block was a police car stopped to the south of my townhouse.

Majerle and I walked north on our usual route and had only been walking for a couple of minutes when I noticed something just slightly unusual: three goats were standing on the sidewalk directly across from me. They were looking at Majerle and me and bleeting at us. I kept walking, hoping that they would stay put. But they did not. They came toward us across the street rather quickly. Unsure of their intent in charging towards us, I assumed it was malicious and started walking faster but they were keeping up pace with us. So I realized my only chance of escaping a potential goat attack was by sprinting as fast as a girl wearing flip flops can right down the middle of the street! Majerle ran faster than I did and I knew I was only holding him back, but I held onto his leash and we both kept turning around, astonished to see the goats tailing us at full speed! And seemingly, the faster they ran, the louder they bleeted! I was terrifed, perplexed, and very unsure of what to do since I knew I couldn't keep sprinting (I'm not really one for "exercise"). I was approaching an apartment community that was surrounded by a wooden split-rail fence. I summoned up my 7th grade track hurdling technique and I hurdled right over the fence! I let go of Majerle's leash as I was jumping, not sure if he would know to make the leap. I landed in the grass on the other side, certain that the goats were on the outside of the fence and I could figure out what to do next, but when I turned around, they were inches from me, having all cleared the fence (probably much better than I did). I froze, but soon realized they were harmless. They kept bleeting at me but they weren't at all threatening. I hopped back over the fence where Majerle was waiting for me with a confused expression.

A small group of walkers and neighbors had gathered to find out what I was doing sprinting down the street with goats on my tail. I explained that they came out of nowhere and assumed the worst so I ran! I remembered the cop who was parked further south down the street so I decided to lure the goats back in that direction and ask the cop what to do. I began walking and sure enough, the three billy goats followed me! I'm not sure what scene was more embarrassing, me running from the goats or me presumably herding the goats. I tried to hide my face as onlookers who drove by slowed down while mouthing "what the..." So there we all were, me, Majerle, three goats, and then I noticed my cat Reggie was trotting down the street along side us. I must have looked like St. Francis! Majerle astounded me with some inherent herding skills, because anytime a goat fell out of the line and attempted to run up beside us, Majerle pushed him back in line with his snout. He actually seemed pretty proud of himself.

As we approached the police vehicle, the goats were distracted by several dogs barking in the front yard of one of the houses on the street and ran towards them. The woman who lived there called out to me: "What are you doing with those goats?" I said I thought it was quite obvious that I was doing nothing with them, but they had apparently considered me their new leader. She said she knew where they lived and said she would herd them back home. Sure enough, she headed up the street and they tagged along.

I proceeded to go have a chat with the police officer (actually there were two by this point, parked side by side, talking to each other). Before I reached their cars one of them called out to me "Were you walking a bunch of goats??" I said that I was not walking them, they were chasing me!! And I asked if it was legal for goats to be roaming the streets! They mentioned how funny it looked and seemed unaware of or unconcerned with any law being broken. So I figured talking to them was futile and would only result in them making fun of me, so I turned around and resumed my disrupted walk with Majerle. I noticed the woman with the goats standing in front of a house on the street where I guess the goats lived. A man opened the door and I heard the woman say "Your goats were chasing some girl and her dog down the street." And the man rang a cow bell and herded the goats into his house!

I spent the next hour walking my dog, wondering how I was going to explain this to my husband and sort of wishing someone had caught the ordeal on video. I have been checking Youtube ever since, hoping someone actually did.

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